Dealing with a selfish world

People will be selfish. Period. Deal with it.

There is no escape from this reality, and the sooner one learns to handle it, the better it is. And after all, aren't we being selfish when we expect people to think of us, before they think of themselves...

Besides, I do believe that on most occasions that we deem people to have behaved selfishly, they haven't been so out of malice, but out of sheer thoughtlessness... After all, life's tough for everyone, and who can be blamed for looking out for him/herself, or for being so caught up in his/her own world that he/she forgets your existence?

The best way to deal with this is to make allowances for people being absorbed in their own self. Start expecting it, and it will stop bothering you. You're not the Queen of England, you know! Besides, who thinks of the Queen everyday, anyway?!

Clichéd!

Don't dismiss the cliché! Often times, it is a cliché simply because it is so true!

cli‧ché  –noun
a trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse

The 'long overuse' is at times indicative of the fact, that a lot of people have recognised the truth in the statement. It may have lost originality, but it certainly hasn't lost its value.

A few cliché's worth their salt:

• Everything that happens, happens for the good.
• A friend in need is a friend indeed.
• Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone.
• Silence is golden.
• Imitation is the best form of flattery.
• God helps those who help themselves.
• Attitude is everything.

Got any more?

If you love something...

... set it free

If it comes back,

Its yours..

If it doesn't,

It never was...

He that loves a butterfly must be ready to lose it, for to capture a butterfly is to kill its spirit, and what you have left is not the free thing you loved at all, but a shadow, at best...

Who can enclose in his fist, the water that is to be held in the hollow of the hand?

Yes it's certainly not easy. And I know it hurts. But there really is no other way. A spirit that is free can not be held, it must escape someday from bondage. Or die. The only way to love a free soul is to allow it to be free, not attempting it to hold it captive. For if you are loved back in equal measure, you will be loved out of free will...

They're not God..

... they're just parents! And much as we idolized them when we were little, they're still only human!

When I was in school, they couldn't do anything wrong... by the time I reached college, they couldn't do anything right! I remember my college years full of strife with my parents. I remember the arguments, my accusations that they were trying to control my life and run it for me, that they wouldn't let me take my own decisions, that they didn't treat me like an adult... There'd be heated arguments which would end in tears and heartburn. I went through a period of intense disillusionment - how could they do this to me? Hadn't they said they wanted me to be independant, to think for myself? Then why were they trying to control me? Why had they become hypocrites?

When I left home after I found a job in Pune, I slowly began to realise a few things. They had loved and supported me through the blunders I had committed after (and indeed, even before) I became 'independant'. When they questioned me, it was not out of their lack of trust in me, but because of their incessantly worrying about me. Most importantly, it dawned on me, that perhaps I'd been as difficult for them to handle, as they'd been for me! After all, they were only people! Perhaps, when they had their first child, me, they didn't quite know what to do with me, or even what to expect! Weren't even they learning, as they attempted to teach me?

When I look at the years that have passed since I have been away from home, I see numerous instances where I've fumbled, even fallen at times, but each time, I've had the strength to stand up again, and every single time they have supported me unquestioningly. I see people around me afraid of following their mind, and I silently thank my parents for having made me capable of independant thought, for having given me a spine. For all my parents' supposed shortcomings, they've given me what most parents fail to give their children - a fair chance in this world where only the fittest can survive. They've let me make my mistakes, and have taken care that I learn from them without getting bitter.

In return, I think it's only fair that I let them step down from the pedestal and just let them be people - people who are allowed to make a mistake or two, people who deserve to be loved never the less. After all, godliness is God's business - I'm happy with my two precious human beings!

I have been to heaven...

There is heaven on earth, believe me! You just have to take the effort to buy a ticket and go there - and no, I'm not talking about Kashmir.

I'm talking about attending Pt. Hariprasad Chourasia's flute recital the next time he's performing in your town. Let nothing on earth stop you from attending. He performed in Pune yesterday, and I thank the Good Lord for making it possible for me to go... And the peace I found there just cannot be described in words... its impossible to believe that such divine melodies can be created out of one hollow piece of bamboo!

Punditji started off with raag Maru Behag... and then came Desh raag on audience request (Here there was an awesome jugalbandi with Tabla... all the more awe-inspiring because it was unrehearsed and impromptu) and then a short rendition of a Pahadi dhun, again on audience' request... I know I could've spoken greek right now, and most readers would've understood the same amount, which is probably zilch! But take my word for it, if you will. All technicalities apart, for even I understand nothing of it, his music has the power to completely enthrall his audience and transport them to a different level of feeling... The melodies just flow, and they tempt you to come outside yourself, to forget that anything other than your sense of hearing exists. There can be no reality other than the present. You cease to be a person - you become a sense... and waah waah's just escape your lips, without you even realising it. There are moments when you are so mesmerised, that even a waah waah is beyond you - all you remain capable of is clasping your hands and staring at the master performer, bewitched! All pain is washed away, as if you're bathing in a river of the clearest, purest water...

Music has the power to heal - give it a chance.

Ears open, Lips sealed

Sometimes when people come to you with problems, they're not really looking for solutions, but just someone who'll listen.

Most people are capable of soving their own problems (which is how it should be anyway..), but sometimes are so bogged down by the apparent monster that faces them, that their minds blank out and they don't know what to do. Its not a lack of capability that's keeping them from finding a solution. Mostly, its a feeling of being overwhelmed and of being left completely alone to tackle something big, when others don't even care. When people come to you with problems, more often than not, they are looking for one of two things - either some sympathy or just a sounding board.

An "Oh you poor baby!" can work wonders at times (you can rephrase it for the guys who think they're macho, but believe me, they need it too!) Just the fact that someone understands, is enough to give the tired runner his second wind. And sometimes when you just speak out your worries, and give them definition, they diminish in magnitude and become a lot easier to handle.

Everyone has plenty of 'I told you so's and 'You should... blah blah', but not enough people are just willing to listen. The world needs a few more listeners... are you ready to zip the lip?

An evening at home ain't so bad!

A quiet evening at home, cooking your favourite food and listening to music, especially with someone who appreciates it as much as you do, ain't so bad after all! Er... in fact, its quite refreshing!

Mother nature played a dirty trick on us last evening - just when we were done making plans about where to go for the (self) promised dinner, it rained... And how! Neither of us wanted to go out into the wet night, so home it was for us... With my hopes for a delicious dinner dashed to smithereens, I sulked for a while, while lounging in the bean bag. Then decided to play some music... Ahh... the luxury of listening to beautiful music while curled up in a comfortable bean bag is unparalleled! Needless to say, my mood improved pretty fast (somehow these disappointments never show on sis!) and we decided to cook pasta (yes, cook, not boil the instant pasta, but cook!)... which, by the way, turned out delicious! In retrospect, I'm glad it rained and we didn't go out ( and also because a friend promised to buy me dinner some place nice tonight, just because I cribbed so much yesterday! Ha ha ha!)

Home's 'some place nice' to have a delicious dinner, you know!